Sharing My Work–v. 3: Choolah

Austin Kleon, and his hair

Happy Friday!

As I noted in an earlier post, I’m a fan of Austin Kleon’s Show Your Work (and his fabulous hair), so I’ll do a bit of that here, now and again.

Choolah: it’s fast Indian casual, and super tasty. I love the concept and the food, as well as their space on the far east side of Cleveland. (They’re in VA and PA, too.) Nice work, team!

These folks know what’s what, so I was surprised to find an opportunity to wordsmith their copy.

choolah

I love the angle here, and my take is to maintain the punchy cadence all the way through.

“Serve guests healthy, hearty food. Deliver yum, not yawn.
You can pick it up.
We can bring it to you.

“Relax. We’re on it, and we care.

“Easy peasy.”

The healthy-but-hearty angle offers some distinction, but McDonald’s (and others) can claim they deliver what their guests really want. (Seriously: their fries are a scientific and culinary wonder.)

“Relax” stands on its own as a sentence without being didactic. And the rest of it works, even with the shift in point of view from the first to the second paragraph. (You could argue that “serve” should be serving, but since it’s about catering, it’s potentially the client who’s serving up the food.)

Good food. Good copy. Enjoy!

 

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